i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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