Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
