she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
