Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
