I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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