We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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