Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
