i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
