i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
