plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
