he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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