Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
