I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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