I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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