Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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