Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
