Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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