You're my little dorito
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
