woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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