No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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