so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
