Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
