I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize