distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
