I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
