I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize