i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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