During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
