If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
