Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
