just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
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Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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