He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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