thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
