Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wear drunk well.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize