I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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