Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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