Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
