I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
