Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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