She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
