you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
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He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
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My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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