you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
