he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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