Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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