i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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