She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
