I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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