I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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