My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
