Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
