Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize