their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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