I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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