my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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