Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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