you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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