apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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