I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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