He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
