Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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