Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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