Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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